I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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