I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
