Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
