i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
