she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
