i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
