i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
