Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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