I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
