Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
