Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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