It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize