glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
