What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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