I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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