Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
