I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize