We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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