just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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