Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
