My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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