i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize