..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
