her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
