dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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