I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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