Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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