Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize