did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
