textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
