Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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