I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
