My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
