So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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