I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
