At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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