Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
