Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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