Non-Jews are for practice
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
