I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
