So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
