I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
