have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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