it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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