My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
