I'm going to rape someone's good day.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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