It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
