I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
ttyl tear gas
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
