what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
