theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize