she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize
