I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
