I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
