It's Friday. Sex?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
