Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
