we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
