we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
