You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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