WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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