Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize