Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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