I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
