Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
