if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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