Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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