I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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